Fell in love with the barman. I was smitten with his charm and wit. We spent the most romantic 5 minutes of my life together before he ran off. Said he had urgent bar work to attend to, the Efes were running low.

Returned later with my friend to find my future husband with his friends. Was so excited to see him, I could tell, deep down, he was really pleased to see me too. He played it cool and didn't want to look too keen though. This is why I adore him so much.

We sat down to discuss the delights of kardamena and the pitfalls of a long distance relationship, It is a long way from london to sweden. Only to be abused by his moronic "crew". One person in particular, I found rather offensive. He seemed intent on upsetting me. I am a sensitive girl you know. I think he may have felt slightly jealous that his friend was so attracted to me, that he may well lose him forever. My lover, who I could tell was merely play acting that he was rather I was dead than here right now, unbelievably became abusive also. Another of his friends questioned my Swedish roots in a manner I don't dare repeat.

My friend and I, at this point decided prompt action was required in order to ensure my future lover did not slip through my grasp. We took my complaint about the attitude of him and his so called friends to my Thomson rep and "higher powers," In an effort to make my Romeo see sense. I hope I did not damage my lovers’ career prospects at his bar.

I am currently writing a letter to Dear Dirderie, for advice and guidance on how I can once again become the centre of my lover's attentions. I hope she can reply to Sweden.

Miss u darling. I can forgive you my sweet.
Rachelxx

PS. If had just one wish, it would be that I had had chance to have a trim down below.